Lack of confidence holds me down..

Lack of confidence is the number one thing that holds me down. I cannot 100% pin point why it is that way but I can recognise the signs that is is. And I don’t like it. Maybe it just is the modern way of living where everything has turned into a click bait kind of quest or maybe it goes deeper than that? Bad experiences from child hood or bad work and relationship experiences. Who knows?

One thing though is that this particular writing project you encounter here is me trying to take of charge of it and keep writing. I always was a writer. Not as in a bestselling author, but more as in always being a creative writer. So getting writer’s block some years back was like one of the worst things that could happen to me.

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Even more so being an aspiring free lance journalist and wanting as well as needing to sell myself in. But now I do feel like I have come over some magical thresh hold. I basically write every day. And I publish. By letting others get access to my writing I also face the risk of getting judged, ridiculed etc.

See where I’m going with this. The first things that come to mind are being judged and ridiculed.

Appreciation

The idea that someone actually would like and appreciate following the work in my garden or any other story, like this, I type write down evidently doesn’t cross my mind. That is the mindset that needs changing. That is the type of mindset that is holding me down not only here, but also in life in general.

For sure it is holding me down in another writer’s project of mine. I started another blog or independent new site or how you want to label it. It is 100% focusing on my topic of expertise.

I launched the site two thirds into February and so far I published 24 posts. Not all bad for 20 days of writing. So for sure I have topics to talk about so to speak. So now I have reached the point and stage where it would make sense to launch it to the public.

For sure it is already a public website but to make the plunge and share it to friends and family is the bit that scares the crap out of me. Will they judge or ridicule me?

Will they find it completely meaningless and label it a dream that will never happen. The dream of once again owning my very own publication that is.

I used to have one.

In all honesty it was maybe not the cash cow one would have wanted. But at the time me and the publication were way ahead of time so that played a big part of it. Thinking back the content was always appreciated. This would be the confident part of me speaking. And if one don’t want to be scandalous, great content is the key to success.