Seriously disturbing..
Chronic pain is pain that lasts for over three months. You may feel the pain all the time or it may come and go. It can happen anywhere in your body and has countless causes.
So, as already established I really don’t like my job, and also owe up to it being kind of rich world kind of issue. Anyhow, the things my manager said the other day made my neck hair stand up, and I quote: I am not going to miss my Christmas holiday because of you may not come to work cause your husband is in hospital.
I just talked to my best friend about it, and she was like: W T F ? !
No more, no less. She confirmed to me I was not just over sensitive about it, and the fact I even need confirmation of something that actually is straight forward awkward and crazy wrong is somewhat even more disturbing.
It’s basically like I am being gaslighted at work. A total shit job for 16h per week where they find it suiting to spread my work hours out across four days per week. So instead of being able to find time to pursue other things I clock in on four days per week.
No, that is not entirely true. This week and the coming two I “only” do three days per week. One of those days is a ten hour shift on Saturdays..
Where I come from that would have meant a 50% higher pay.
Where I currently live not so much.
On Saturdays one earn the same amount as any other day except Sundays. Sundays is 100% extra per hour. However, it seems cashing in on Sunday’s is only for a lucky few.
So in all it is like history is repeating itself from my temp job two years ago where I suddenly was scheduled for every weekend.
But unlike the rest of the crew who worked Saturday one week and Sunday the following and so on. Yours truly would only enjoy working Saturdays.
All these things are really starting to break me down in regards to my self confidence. Each and every weird things make me question myself.
Am I a good person or not.
Am I doing this to myself.
Am I really this awful?
But then again my logical brain does tell me it is not me.
It is a messed up work environment with no job security what so ever and where people in power do their best to maintain their power.
On Monday I have an appointment with a doctor.
Cause I seriously suspect I am close to a total burn out. Not because I work too many hours per week, but because all of the negative stress in my life.
Such as having a very sick significant other in hospital for a week already, while also trying to clear things up after my late mother who passed away in another country earlier this year.
All those [big and small] things that trigger the chronic pain I am already struggling with every single day..
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